The Greek word "mnesteuo" means a souvenir or an engagement present. The gift symbolized commitment. It means espousement or betrothal.
Biblical accounts reveal that betrothal was a legal contract that was the first stage of coupling. It was usually entered into by the couple’s two families. The means to break the contract was a divorce.
Before Mary and Joseph were literally wed, they had entered betrothal. This was seen as binding. Understandably, Joseph was grieved at Mary's pregnancy before they were wed. Thinking the worst, he contemplated divorce. [Matthew 1:19]
The concept of betrothal is unfamiliar to many or thought antiquated. It has passed out of vogue in much of western civilization. Many think "good riddance."
Courtship and betrothal have much in common. Like betrothal, courtship centers on the pursuit of marriage. It involves family. It involves a proposal of marriage. There are two big differences, however, between the two models.
How betrothal would work in modern society is something that each couple and their families must discover. A Biblical model does involve the father of a man seeking out that man’s bride. The bride, though, had her choice. The man, too, had his choice and made his commitment. He sealed that commitment with an extravagant gift. In Biblical times, betrothal involved a significant "bride price" that would prove his commitment. Betrothal involved the man promising to come after his bride and take her to the home that he had prepared for her. The man’s father made the arrangements and set the time for the actual wedding. The time was not told to the bride or to the son.
These are difficult concepts for the western civilization of today. The Bible is challenging, no doubt. But Christians are called to renew their minds in order to adjust to God’s living patterns, including His coupling patterns.
Betrothal should not be a foreign concept for the Christian, though. The Son is the Bridegroom who is betrothed to His Church. The Father is intimately involved. The Father chooses the bride. The bride chooses the Son. The God-Man has made a firm commitment and sealed this with His betrothal gift of the Holy Spirit. [Ephesians 1:13-14] Jesus paid the "bride price" with His blood. The Bridegroom has promised to come after His bride and take her to the home He has prepared for her. And the Father has made all the arrangements. He has set His own time for the wedding. This is unknown, though, to the betrothed bride or to His Son.
Again, betrothal is the only coupling model the Bible gives. Marriages that began otherwise can, however, be just as blessed. Our God is the great Redeemer. Even so, the other coupling models are weak and do have their pitfalls. To avoid these is wisdom.
To better understand the betrothal concept, see "The Chapman's Story."