"Submission" is not an easy concept for the Christian. The Greek "hupotasso" means to come under, to submit, to obey, to be put under, to subordinate, etc.
It is a Greek military term meaning "to arrange troop divisions
[in a military fashion] under the command of a leader. In
non-military use, it meant a voluntary attitude of submitting,
cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.
In other words, when seen in New Testament usage, it means
voluntarily to submit, obey, be put under, and be subordinate.
Christians are called to submission in the following:
For example, Christians are called upon to "hupotasso" government leaders: "Let every soul be subject unto [hupotasso] the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Wherefore ye must needs be subject [hupotasso], not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake." – Romans 13:1,5.
At the same time, it must be understood that God and His commands
are above every human leader:
"But Peter and John answered and said unto them, Whether it be right
in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge
ye." – Acts 4:19
In other words, humans are to respect the authority and position of
the leaders that God has permitted. At the same time, humans are not
to obey those who require evil.
A Godly leader is much like a military point-person that reveals the best and safest way. The point-person can do this because he or she has been there and knows the terrain. Jesus is our ultimate Point-Person. Godly husbands, parents, government leaders, and church leaders are other point-persons, though.
Ungodly leaders should be respected for their positions. But their ungodly commands must be disobeyed. For example, there are abusive shepherds in the Body of Christ. Some go so far as to lead their sheep into grave error while demanding, "Submit to me!" The sheep, though, in following such a man or woman is not doing good. This shepherd is requiring evil and may even be usurping God’s place in the believer’s life. Such a thing is evil, and a Christian should refuse to participate.
A Godly husband or leader will understand that his or her role is
that of being a point-person. The point-person is a servant. A
husband who loves his wife as Christ loves His Church, and the
leader who loves according to 1 Corinthian 13 standards will stoop
to serve and not abuse. Those being led will respond well to such
leadership. An ungodly husband or leader should receive the respect
due the position. But an ungodly husband or leader should rightly
have his or her ungodly demands thwarted.
Sadly, what often happens when a husband or leader is leading
poorly, those being led go into danger. The military point-person
who takes no care in his role can lead his soldiers to death. A
husband or leader can do likewise in the family—potentially leading
his or her family into physical or spiritual death.
Anyone who steps into leadership by marrying or having children or taking on an institutional leadership role needs God’s directions. "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." – Psalm 119:105. Without it, the cliffs cannot be avoided.
Interestingly, "hupotasso" is not used in the context of parent-child relationships. The child's position of submission is not a voluntary lining up under. The word used for children is "hupakouo" which means to hearken to a command to obey, be obedient to, and submit to. The parent must expect this.
A wise parent will train the child to "hupotasso." A child who voluntarily lines up under the leading and protection of the parent is an enormous blessing. The child is then on the parent's "team." The child will care about what the parent cares about. That child is well on his or her way to becoming a Godly leader.