The Proper Spanking

There is a correct way and an incorrect way to administer a spanking. If a parent feels out of control because a child has done something especially irksome, it is better to put both the child and yourself into a timeout situation until a spanking can be administered correctly.

Ideally, though, these are the rules for spanking:

1. Spanking is reserved for defiance. The breaking of a precious heirloom is not grounds for a spanking. The parent must understand that the child is far more important than something that will pass away. A parent should know what defiance looks like and thwart it wherever it rears its ugly head in the child. This becomes difficult, granted, when a child is practicing the word "no" on parents. It takes discernment from the Lord to tell when a child is crossing the line.
   A firm rebuke or the use of consequences such as taking something from the child work well in situations where there has not been overt defiance. Isolation in one's room can be seen as rejection and should be used sparingly. Time-outs can be useful for some children, but they cannot replace a needed spanking for overt defiance.
2. God designed the backside as the place for spankings. It is painful to receive a blow there, but no real damage is done. God gave it plenty of padding. Slapping a child is never a good idea. Doing so is usually an out-of-control behavior on the part of the parent. It provokes a child. It also trains the child that loss of self control is acceptable.
3. A wooden ruler, switch, paddle, or spoon works best on the backside. A hand should be seen as the loving extension of God's justice but not the justice itself. A child learns through words, but a child learns more through experience. He or she needs to see the hand always as a servant of the Master--to grant justice and love and comfort and correction and reward according to the circumstances.
4. Spanking should never take place in the presence of others. Correction's point is not humiliation but restoration. The opposite-sex parent, also, should never remove primary clothing from a child to administer a spanking.
5. A spanking should be preceded with an explanation of why this is being done. If there is some doubt about the child's understanding, have that child tell you what he or she has done that is defiant behavior. If the child is confused about why he or she is being spanked, it may not be defiance. Other discipline may be needed.
6. A lot of love should be given the child. He or she must learn that you hate the behavior and the attitude of rebellion that you have seen. But, at the same time, a parent must reveal the love that is still there for him or her. This is how God works with us parents in our own defiance toward a loving Father.

If a parent does his or her job well, the child will face less severe correction from Father God. The son or daughter will also seek to help others--including their own little ones--avoid serious correction from the Father. This should be the goal of every parent.