IX. Child Training

A.  The Undisciplined / The Need to Train Children

"A child left to himself brings shame to his mother." (Proverbs 29:15b)

The undisciplined child also brings shame to the father and siblings. A Christian's child, left to himself, brings shame, as well, to the Lord Jesus and to His Church.

Due to a sin nature, a child seeks to be the center of his or her world. A parent fails badly if that goal is not thwarted.

A child's needs are to be met; however, a child's wants must be subjected to Biblical standards. A child so trained shall surely prosper.

Exhortation:

Proverbs 22:15a (foolishness)

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

1 Cor. 13:11 (child's perspective)

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

Proverbs 14:12 (distorted perspective if left untrained)

There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Isaiah 5:20-21 (distorted perspective if left untrained)

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight!

Genesis 8:21 (imagination of heart--evil)

For the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth.

Job 24:13 (rebellious to light if untrained)

There are those who rebel against the light, who are not acquainted with its ways, and do not stay in its paths.

Jeremiah 17:9 (deceitful heart)

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can understand it?

Galatians 4:1-3 (to be under guardianship)

Now I say, That the heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all; But is under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the father.

Note:

Training by ungodly example or persuasion is most grievous to our God. However, neglect of Godly training can produce results equally devastating.

An awareness and confession of spiritual negligence is an important first step in correcting a disastrous situation. It is not, however, an easy one.

Many of today's parents were trained up in a way they should not go. Now--even as Christians--they find it exceedingly difficult to depart from it. Worse, many do not recognize it. Abnormality has become normality.

"Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!" (Isaiah 5:20-21)

"Woe to my rebellious children, says the Lord; you ask advice from everyone but me, and decide to do what I don't want you to do. You yoke yourselves with unbelievers, thus piling up your sins." (Isaiah 30:1 LVB)

The only solution is to look at all experiences through the clear light of the Scriptures and see where there has been a departure.

This is a parent's responsibility lest that evil continue to another generation.

  

 

B.  Command / Exhortation to Teach and to Train

Deuteronomy 4:9

Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons' sons.

Deuteronomy 4:10

Specially the day that thou stoodest before the Lord thy God in Horeb, when the Lord said unto me, Gather me the people together, and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children.

Psalm 78:2-8

I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God.

Isaiah 38:19

The living, the living, he shall praise thee, as I do this day: the father to the children shall make known thy truth.

Genesis 18:19

For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

Deut. 31:12-13a

Gather the people together, men and women, and children, and thy stranger that is within thy gates, that they may hear, and that they may learn, and fear the Lord your God, and observe to do all the words of this law: And that their children, which have not known any thing, may hear, and learn to fear the Lord your God.

Deut. 32:46b-47a

Set your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day, which ye shall command your children to observe to do, all the words of this law. For it is not a vain thing for you; because it is your life.

 

 

C.  Discipleship by Instruction

Proverbs 1:8-9

My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Matthew 28:19-20

Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

 

 

D.  Discipleship by Training Appetites

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Ephesians 6:4

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Hebrews 12:11

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

 

 

E.  Discipleship by Exhortation

Chastening is grievous--whether it be by the hand of a parent or by the hand of the Almighty. Submission to that chastening, however, results in life. For a child not to submit to correction is a serious matter, indeed.

Scriptures give no justification for rebellion at any age. Rebellion is but the consequence of violating Scriptural principles. And rebellion has its own consequences.

The physical world operates upon physical principles: laws such as gravity and the inability of two bodies to occupy the same space. To disdain physical reality invites physical harm and possible death. Likewise, the spiritual world. Parents should see the importance of the physical but make a priority of the spiritual. One is temporal; the other eternal.

Proverbs 13:18

Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured.

Proverbs 12:1

Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish.

Proverbs 19:27

Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge.

Proverbs 13:1

A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.

Proverbs 15:32

He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.

Proverbs 1:23

Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you.

Proverbs 15:10

Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.

 

 

F.  Discipleship Results

"A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher" (Luke 6:40). It is great wisdom for parents to direct children to the Holy Spirit--who is the perfect Teacher.

This in no way, however, relieves parents from the obligation of living a Godly life before their children.

The Word became flesh and dwelt among those of Israel about two thousand years ago. Messiah walked, talked, laughed, and wept before His children--in total harmony with the Father's will and plan.

In the same way we are to allow the Holy Spirit to live among our children through our holy (set apart) lives.

 

 

 

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